i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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