He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Terrible idea I love it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
