Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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