i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
