i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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