I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
