my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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