how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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