Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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