I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
