i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
