Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
