I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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