He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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