there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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