after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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