I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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