I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
