Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
