I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize