Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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