she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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