Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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