so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
