I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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