you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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