so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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