Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
