Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I touched a dick in church today
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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