do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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