dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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