So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Did you just see the Batmobile???
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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