im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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