i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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