The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
