she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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