Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
