I am in a vortex of obligation.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
People with herpes should wear stickers.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
