oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
