It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
