Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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