I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
