make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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