dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
