a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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