we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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