Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
