So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
