They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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