he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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