Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
