god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
