my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
