Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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