I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
