I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
