in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
