so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
