I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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