Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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