She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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