like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
