I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
